Guests are (apparently) cattle

Allow me to introduce you to an argument conversation that could be heard throughout our home this past week or so. My lovely wife and I have been discussing the swing of our back door. Specifically in regard to what she has so lovingly deemed “the flow of people.” Before I continue, I would like to state (for my own safety) that I believe this to be a perfectly legitimate concern and decision to make in regard to our new home. That said, “the flow of people” sounds to me as if we are herding our guests akin to cows at the farm.

“To the kitchen, bovine guests, dinner of corn mash is served!”

Currently our back door swings in a direction as if to close off the entrance to the kitchen and open up to the living room. Through many case studies (read: my wife approaching every door in the house from any conceivable direction) Cori has determined this to be unacceptable. As any supportive husband would do, I replied, “Okay.”

This brings us to the aforementioned “flow of people” and what Cori we’ve decided is best for re-creating our guests’ natural habitat. This is our back door as it stands now:

Back Door

Cori’s argument hinges (I refuse to be ashamed of that pun) on the fact that 9 times out of 10 we will be coming in from our deck, grill, or whatever outdoor activity, directly into our kitchen. If the door remains in its current configuration, the “flow of people” will look like this:

Around and around

In her our opinion, this is just not right. Imagine, if you will, that I’m carrying a plate of delicious burgers fresh off the grill. (Husband note: my chosen dinner for this example was most definitely on purpose due to the title of this post.) Am I delivering these delicious meat discs to the living room or the kitchen? Why adhere to the flow above, when it could be far simpler, like this:

dat flow

“That flow makes so much more sense, doesn’t it?” Yes, dear, yes it does.

The great door debate of 2013 is settled with the wife getting the W. My apathy of this situation apparently didn’t get its foot through the door.

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